i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize