Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
