Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
