I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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