i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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