It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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