Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
