He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
