I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
