And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
