He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
