What a fucking waste of an outfit
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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