I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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