Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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