Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
