At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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