He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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