i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Blood and glitter go together right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
