Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
