Your dad touched me again.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
