i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
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I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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