i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
