Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
