To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
