I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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