Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
