I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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