We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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