if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
