He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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