Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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