Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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