Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
