If i come over, it means nothing
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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