Quick, to the slutcave!
my sisters under your porch take her home
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
