I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
