Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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