Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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