Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
