That's when you crack a 10am beer
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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