matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
