Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
