so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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