Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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