Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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