how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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