At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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