When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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