Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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