Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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