you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He passed out mid-signature
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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