Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
