OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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