i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
