i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
