Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
