i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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