If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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