i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
