I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Your penis caused this!
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