So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
