i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
bring money and cleavage
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
