Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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