that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
