what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
