I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
