Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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