Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
