I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
