i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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